I began a serious journey into the origin and function of the personality v. spirituality a few years ago and was shocked to learn that my ego was nothing more that a collection of never-ending thoughts with which I habitually identify. In other words, I think I am my thoughts.
All these many years I have focused on developing my spiritual self and wondered why it is that I have always fallen short of my expectations. The more I learned, the more I judged myself to be lacking in the stuff that makes one spiritual. But, where did my concept of what spirituality looks like develop? If I always fell short, there must be a standard by which I was making the judgement. Where did that originate? Was this my own concept of spirituality or was it from a source outside of me? Was this a biological process that brought me to a conclusion or was it an involuntary habit of being outer-referring?
According to some brain researchers, the mind functions as two distinct, yet connected processors. It would probably be fair to say the two halves of the brain, having different functions run parallel with each other. I’m not a brain researcher, but I do think that certain brain research offers some answers for me.
In my left brain, I am fully identified with my thoughts. To quote Rene Descartes, “Cogito ergo sum,” “I think; therefore I am.” I take the liberty of saying, I think I am and conversely, I think I am not. And it is within these two, small statements that I began to shift my own consciousness.
In my right brain, I am beautiful, one with the universe, intuitive and creative. In my right brain, I can move beyond the notion that I am my thoughts. I can even move beyond my modified version of Descartes’ famous quote, I think I am and I think I am not. In my right brain, there is not structured thought. In my right brain my modification becomes, simply, I am.
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor gives a talk about right brain, left brain function. She is a brain researcher and she is a brain researcher who experienced a stroke that destroyed her very educated and relied upon left hemisphere. She tells us that the part of our brains that we choose to use determines what is possible for our lives. The video of the talk in its entirety is available through a link on my website. Go to www.cultivateyourlife.com and click on the link. It is 18:44 minutes of spell binding possibility.
I am in the process of becoming aware of the ways that I bond with my thoughts and allow myself and others to be defined by their limitations. I have come to understand in some small ways that I already am spirituality. Like looking for the diamond in your own back yard, the last place my thinking mind thought to look was within. Spirituality is not a commodity that I can seek and find. I am…spirituality.
