From my perspective as a coach, I see a lot of historical baggage in the ways we all choose to view conflicts in all areas of life My job is not to judge my clients, but to create and maintain a safe space for them to explore their lives, look at things they have been unwilling to examine before and know that they do not have to face it alone. The truth is, we are humans…remember? There are no mistakes and every moment of our lives serve to create the person we are today, with all of our very unique gifts.
It is easy for us all to see what is wrong with others, but our job is to tie all of the content of our judgements back to a process that can lead us to a plan of action that is aligned with our goals.
Another part of my job is to help you look at current boundaries and standards and help you develop more effective ones that are also in alignment with your vision. Tough conversations are another part of our work together as is cleaning up the past. We cannot move forward without cleaning up the past. To do this we have to practice radical honesty with ourselves and others. What is the one incompletion that most impacts your life today? What would be possible if you were willing to make a completion around this?
My job is also to challenge you about ways you have always been in the world, who you believe yourself to be and the associated behavior necessary to uphold that story line, identity. Sometimes we have to be willing to give up the person we have always believed ourselves to be in order to become the next version of ourselves. That’s a pretty scary proposition for most of us. It requires that we let go of our attachments, our little ways we practice control, our belief in the illusion of what goes on around us. We are in the word, but we must always remember that we are not “of” the world. There is a difference.
Don’t let your ego structure drag you around by the hair any longer. You get to choose what kind of life you live, how you will be treated by yourself and others and what standards you desire to live your life around. Review these often because they change as we grow. Life is not an all or nothing proposition. Just relax, take a breath and know that the perfect outcome will be achieved in due time, due process and due diligence.
When you have an opportunity to practice emotional responsibility and maturity, do so.
I encourage you to just stand still, do nothing, be gentle and compassionate with this entire process in times of confusion or deep emotional buy in. Please be willing to give yourself time. Stand in your own integrity and be willing to believe the best about everyone involved…even if you don’t want to. Never forget that how you choose to show up at work has an impact on everyone around you…everyone can be lifted up or left hanging by the grace and dignity you choose or do not choose to exercise in your life. Be a blessing today and everyday to what ever extent it is possible.
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