I had an enlightening call with a client today about gratitude. What is gratitude and why should we cultivate it?
According to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), gratitude is defined as:
gratitude |ˈgratəˌt(y)oōd|
noun
the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness : she expressed her gratitude to the committee for their support.
ORIGIN late Middle English : from Old French, or from medieval Latin gratitudo, from Latin gratus ‘pleasing, thankful.
Today’s call brought a focus on gratitude as a way to stay present. Gratitude is more than just a quality, as defined above. To me, gratitude is a way of being, a choice and a lifestyle. Gratitude is a goal and living in gratitude is an ongoing process. Gratitude is a measure of personal honesty, emotional availability, compassion and generosity. Gratitude is a measure of authentic abundance and it is available to any of us when we make the quiet choice to be grateful in what ever moment we find ourselves.
It is impossible for anger and gratitude to co-exist. I cannot be angry with you if I am grateful for you. I cannot make myself wrong if I am grateful for my life. I cannot blame others if I practice gratitude for what is, regardless of how I may feel.
I began to practice gratitude regularly around 1997. That was the first year that I kept a Gratitude Journal. Each day I noted five things for which I was grateful. I usually did this at the end of the day, which brought a lot of awareness into every day. I had to be present in the moment in order to notice and make note of a moment for which I could be grateful. The practice of the Gratitude Journal helped me remain accountable to my commitment. I got up each day knowing that I had to find at least five things I could feel grateful for by the end of the day. On days that I just didn’t get to it or forgot or feel very grateful, I’d always make those days up the next time I went to my journal. Once in a while, I’d get a few days behind and have to come up with 15 things!
The practice proved to be useful and fulfilling, so I kept it up. After a while, noticing what’s right in my world became a habit, like complaining, only the opposite. It seemed like good things happened all the time! Why? It’s like when you buy a new car and then you start noticing how many other cars like it are driving down the road. Grateful greatness was popping all around me because I was willing to see it, acknowledge it, feel it and claim it.
I pulled the 1997 version of my Gratitude Journal from the bookshelf today and shared a few of my entries with my client. I’ll share them here:
April 11, 1997: feeling in-touch with myself, jazz music, God within me, my higher self, my sense of security; April 9, 1997: Easter eggs and not having to dye any this year, the freckles on Heather’s (my daughter) face, Brooke’s (daughter) big smile, Hillary’s (daughter) growing sense of humor; April 14, 1997: Making good choices for me, taking care of my family, seeing Jennifer’s (daughter) smile, Dr. Pepper, my years with Lee (deceased husband, 2002). April 16, 1997: facing my fears, learning how to relax, the sun after many days of rain, friendship, this moment that is my life.
Looking back at these grateful moments from 11 years ago bring immense gratitude to me in the now. My freckle faced daughter is on her way to Vet school, my daughter with the growing sense of humor will graduate from Nursing school on May 10, 2008, my daughter with the big smile is a grown woman who is married with three children of her own. It is gratifying to see that I had actually stopped to be grateful for my husband, Lee. I had no way of knowing then that he had just five short years to live.
That is the point of gratitude. That’s why we care. That’s why we cultivate a grateful heart. We cultivate gratitude because we cannot change the past, nor can we know the future. What we have is now, this day, this moment in which to offer up a grateful notion.
Gratitude takes courage. In the moment of heart-breaking disappointment, the humanity within us will not suggest gratitude. That is when making gratitude a way of being can mean the most. When we live with gratitude, we are never alone or down and out. With gratitude we rest assured that eventually we will see what’s right in even the seemingly worst person or situation, even if we don’t like it or want to at that moment.
Today, I am grateful that I am feeling more like myself, happy and optimistic, the blue sky, my husband, my children and grandchildren, my health, the little bird just outside my window, spring and you.
Keep a Gratitude Journal. It will change your life!
