If only there were one SRP per person, the world would be a less judgmental place, most likely. Unfortunately, we all have a multitude of self-righteous positions and we have no limit to the possible number, nor how many of them we can juggle all at the same time.
So what is an SRP anyway? You’ll most likely be able to identify a self-righteous position when you have a strong reaction, judgment or opinion about another person or a situation. It can be defined as that moment in which we are absolutely certain we know what is right for someone else or what is wrong with them.
The ego loves SRPs. It can’t get enough. Just thinking about an SRP is like rolling candy on the tongue. We savor it because it’s just so delicious to be focused on someone other than ourselves. How clear it all is when someone else is clearly being a sanctimonious, self-righteous bitch or an arrogant ass. We have a sixth sense about it; we can smell it a mile away.
The unfortunate news is that this is nearly always a projection of our own egoic perspective. Yes, yes, no matter how unbelievable that may seem, we are able to pick up what’s right or wrong in another through the miracle process known in transpersonal psychology and made famous by Carl Jung as projection. Projection is the involuntary transfer of denied aspects of the self onto others in order that we may see them. We can project light as well as dark aspects of the self that we just cannot accept or see in our own personalities. To some the concept may seem ridiculous, frightening or even boring. But it’s a phenomenon that isn’t really boring at all. It’s pretty interesting once we are willing to open up to the possibility that this could actually be true.
So, here’s an example from my own life. I’ve spent most of my adult life believing with every fiber of my being that my sister is a sanctimonious, self-righteous bitch. She’s 7+ years older than me, she thinks she know everything, including what’s right for me and the rest of the world. No one can help her, but then she’s the martyr because she has to do everything herself. When someone else does do something, of course, they did it wrong! I threw up my hands in surrender a few years ago. I decided that if that’s the game and I can’t change it, then I wouldn’t play anymore.
Of course the cost of that position was that I would not be able to have a relationship with my only sister. I’m now 52, so that should give you a pretty good idea of how attached I have been to this SRP.
In my next blog, I’ll continue with the rest of the story. I’ll explain how I came to understand my view and reaction to this relationship and what my choices were as well as how my choices actually transformed all aspects of my relationship with my sister.
Thanks for reading.
